Anno Domini Casanovas... a new breed of "men"!

There is one thing that Fidel Castro, Wilt Chamberlain, Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Hefner all had in common... they are all womanizers and real life Casanovas!

This isn't the first time I blog about this topic (see my previous post One-Woman-Men... An Urban Legend???) and here I am once again incensed by this breed of camouflaged promiscuous heterosexual men who seem to be multiplying in numbers by the day as they feed off the vulnerability of once self-respecting women!

We know they exist, we know how they operate, and we KNOW that we SHOULD steer clear of them... yet many of us have the disposition to keep falling victim to their tactics and ways....

Why???

Its simple... you see ladies; a womanizer is not your average man who simply can't keep it in his pants!  A womanizer is a very smart, intellectual and highly deceptive man who can't keep it in his pants!

And why we fail to safeguard ourselves from them?... Well that is a combination of the Triangular Theory of Love and the Labor Theories of Value.  

The former explains our tendency as women to attract womanizers by developing one of two things;

1. What the Triangular Theory of Love refers to as 'infatuated love' which is based solely on passion driven by limerence and sexual attraction
2. What the Triangular Theory of Love refers to as 'romantic love' which is based on a combination of passion and longing for intimacy

The latter theories - Labor Theories of Value or LTV - are heterodox economic theories of value which womanizers use as a base on which they formulate all of their tactics.  LTV argues that the value of a commodity is related to the labor needed to produce or obtain that commodity.  In other words; womanizing tactics are a calculated approach by womanizers based on the amount of effort (labor) that he will have to put in in order to get (obtain) his D to the W (commodity)!

D to the W / (effort x number of options) = potential to womanize

SIMPLE MATHS!!!!! 

However, it is important to note that in order for womanizers to succeed, evolve and grow among us they will need BOTH the Triangular Theory of Love AND the Labor Theories of Value to be in their favor - i.e. if the woman is not desperate or if she has standards and therefore a high cost then she will simply be far too high risk of an investment to a womanizer in which case he will halt all operations as soon as he realizes that his womanizing tactics will fail to bear any fruit!... and that, my ladies, is the key to stone walling womanizers.

It has nothing to do with the fact that they're "good" at womanizing and deceiving us, but everything to do with whether we are in a state of contempt or content where the former is the silver plate on which woman are served to womanizers!

Adore Me, But Don't Call Me Adorable!

a·dore/əˈdôr/

Verb:  Love and respect (someone) deeply. 

Two words, one is a verb, one is an adjective and on paper are very much directly related.  However, my male friends, don’t make the mistake of thinking that they exert the same effect when said out loud to your lady!

Let me tell you right now, every woman wants to be adored and if she tells you otherwise; she’s either lying or she’s getting it from someone else!... On the other hand, however, most of us do not want to be labelled as adorable by the opposite sex especially if our feelings for that man extend beyond your average friendship parameters!

Love.  Respect.  I don’t know about you ladies, but these are the two most important and valuable things to me when referring to a relationship and someone who I’ve signed a psychological contract with to love and respect him back.  These are the essence and bare minimum of any strong, loyal, happy and long-lasting relationship.  I’m all for compromises, but love and respect are the building blocks of my priorities, standards and values when it comes to relationships.

Calling me adorable on the other hand is something that I can definitely (and prefer to) live without.  I don’t need a man to tell me that I’m beautiful every day cause I know that every once in a while he’ll be telling a lie (a white lie, but a lie nonetheless).  I don’t need a man to tell me that I look good in everything, cause even if he truly believes it (bless him), there will be days when I will pick an outfit that I will be convinced (although not necessarily true) makes me look fat or pale or tasteless (I’m not perfect).  And I most certainly do not need a man (although nice if he does so every now and then) to tell me how adorable he thinks I am, because like anything else, that won’t last forever... try to take that to the bank in twenty years time and see what you can get for it!

What I do need is a man who will love me... a man who will respect me... a man who will adore me!... Because even if that doesn’t last forever, to have been loved, respected and adored once is better than to never have been loved, respected and adored at all!

So adore me... but do not call me adorable!

D

xo

Single and ready to mingle... Just not with YOU!

I'm the kind of person who was never embarrassed or sad to be single.  I always embraced it.  The freedom.  The peacefulness.  The buffet!

Until recently, I was single and proud!... 

The longer I'm single, however, the more I start to notice that to a single man; a single woman is an interested woman!

What the logic behind that is, who knows!... But then again, we are talking about men here, and they are from Mars!

There has been so many occasions where I have had to scrummage through my bag to find anything that resembles a ring to throw on my finger just so that the man I was in mid conversation with would get the hint that I am not interested

Attention all Females: Number 1 Rule of Thumb - Unless you fancy him... you have a "boyfriend"!

Attention all Males: No Means No (click if you would like to be reminded of WHY)

My dear male friends & readers... sorry to be a wet blanket here, but the power of persistence is a MYTH!!!... If a women is not interested, then the last place it will lead you to is her heart (or for most lower-organ-thinking men, her bed), and instead you'll find your self in court for what you would call persistence and what we would call harassment

So I will state this again, and keep doing so until I stop having to do the 'ring flip'*... Not every woman is going to be interested in you, so get over your self and change that mentality.  In saying that though, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you, it just means that she's simply not interested in you and that she's probably not right for you so separate your sense of self-worth from how women perceive you and MOVE ALONG

D

xo

*Ring Flip: when a woman would flip her ring only to expose the band part in an attempt to indicate that she is "engaged" or in more sever cases... "married"