Anno Domini Casanovas... a new breed of "men"!

There is one thing that Fidel Castro, Wilt Chamberlain, Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Hefner all had in common... they are all womanizers and real life Casanovas!

This isn't the first time I blog about this topic (see my previous post One-Woman-Men... An Urban Legend???) and here I am once again incensed by this breed of camouflaged promiscuous heterosexual men who seem to be multiplying in numbers by the day as they feed off the vulnerability of once self-respecting women!

We know they exist, we know how they operate, and we KNOW that we SHOULD steer clear of them... yet many of us have the disposition to keep falling victim to their tactics and ways....

Why???

Its simple... you see ladies; a womanizer is not your average man who simply can't keep it in his pants!  A womanizer is a very smart, intellectual and highly deceptive man who can't keep it in his pants!

And why we fail to safeguard ourselves from them?... Well that is a combination of the Triangular Theory of Love and the Labor Theories of Value.  

The former explains our tendency as women to attract womanizers by developing one of two things;

1. What the Triangular Theory of Love refers to as 'infatuated love' which is based solely on passion driven by limerence and sexual attraction
2. What the Triangular Theory of Love refers to as 'romantic love' which is based on a combination of passion and longing for intimacy

The latter theories - Labor Theories of Value or LTV - are heterodox economic theories of value which womanizers use as a base on which they formulate all of their tactics.  LTV argues that the value of a commodity is related to the labor needed to produce or obtain that commodity.  In other words; womanizing tactics are a calculated approach by womanizers based on the amount of effort (labor) that he will have to put in in order to get (obtain) his D to the W (commodity)!

D to the W / (effort x number of options) = potential to womanize

SIMPLE MATHS!!!!! 

However, it is important to note that in order for womanizers to succeed, evolve and grow among us they will need BOTH the Triangular Theory of Love AND the Labor Theories of Value to be in their favor - i.e. if the woman is not desperate or if she has standards and therefore a high cost then she will simply be far too high risk of an investment to a womanizer in which case he will halt all operations as soon as he realizes that his womanizing tactics will fail to bear any fruit!... and that, my ladies, is the key to stone walling womanizers.

It has nothing to do with the fact that they're "good" at womanizing and deceiving us, but everything to do with whether we are in a state of contempt or content where the former is the silver plate on which woman are served to womanizers!

Adore Me, But Don't Call Me Adorable!

a·dore/əˈdôr/

Verb:  Love and respect (someone) deeply. 

Two words, one is a verb, one is an adjective and on paper are very much directly related.  However, my male friends, don’t make the mistake of thinking that they exert the same effect when said out loud to your lady!

Let me tell you right now, every woman wants to be adored and if she tells you otherwise; she’s either lying or she’s getting it from someone else!... On the other hand, however, most of us do not want to be labelled as adorable by the opposite sex especially if our feelings for that man extend beyond your average friendship parameters!

Love.  Respect.  I don’t know about you ladies, but these are the two most important and valuable things to me when referring to a relationship and someone who I’ve signed a psychological contract with to love and respect him back.  These are the essence and bare minimum of any strong, loyal, happy and long-lasting relationship.  I’m all for compromises, but love and respect are the building blocks of my priorities, standards and values when it comes to relationships.

Calling me adorable on the other hand is something that I can definitely (and prefer to) live without.  I don’t need a man to tell me that I’m beautiful every day cause I know that every once in a while he’ll be telling a lie (a white lie, but a lie nonetheless).  I don’t need a man to tell me that I look good in everything, cause even if he truly believes it (bless him), there will be days when I will pick an outfit that I will be convinced (although not necessarily true) makes me look fat or pale or tasteless (I’m not perfect).  And I most certainly do not need a man (although nice if he does so every now and then) to tell me how adorable he thinks I am, because like anything else, that won’t last forever... try to take that to the bank in twenty years time and see what you can get for it!

What I do need is a man who will love me... a man who will respect me... a man who will adore me!... Because even if that doesn’t last forever, to have been loved, respected and adored once is better than to never have been loved, respected and adored at all!

So adore me... but do not call me adorable!

D

xo

Single and ready to mingle... Just not with YOU!

I'm the kind of person who was never embarrassed or sad to be single.  I always embraced it.  The freedom.  The peacefulness.  The buffet!

Until recently, I was single and proud!... 

The longer I'm single, however, the more I start to notice that to a single man; a single woman is an interested woman!

What the logic behind that is, who knows!... But then again, we are talking about men here, and they are from Mars!

There has been so many occasions where I have had to scrummage through my bag to find anything that resembles a ring to throw on my finger just so that the man I was in mid conversation with would get the hint that I am not interested

Attention all Females: Number 1 Rule of Thumb - Unless you fancy him... you have a "boyfriend"!

Attention all Males: No Means No (click if you would like to be reminded of WHY)

My dear male friends & readers... sorry to be a wet blanket here, but the power of persistence is a MYTH!!!... If a women is not interested, then the last place it will lead you to is her heart (or for most lower-organ-thinking men, her bed), and instead you'll find your self in court for what you would call persistence and what we would call harassment

So I will state this again, and keep doing so until I stop having to do the 'ring flip'*... Not every woman is going to be interested in you, so get over your self and change that mentality.  In saying that though, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you, it just means that she's simply not interested in you and that she's probably not right for you so separate your sense of self-worth from how women perceive you and MOVE ALONG

D

xo

*Ring Flip: when a woman would flip her ring only to expose the band part in an attempt to indicate that she is "engaged" or in more sever cases... "married"

Lightening doesnt strike the same place twice!

We have all been presented with wonderful opportunities at some point in our lives and have turned these opportunities down for a reason that seemed valid enough at the time, only to find ourselves months or years down the line thinking 'what if'?!!!

Why is it that when we find 'the one' we don't hang on to them like we should?

Why is it that when we get offered the perfect job, we turn it down because we're intimidated by the chance that it could be too good to be true?

Why is it that when someone offers to help us, we refuse because we believe that we can do it on our own or that we don't want to owe anyone anything?

I could go on and on asking these questions, but i'll stop there.

These are all opportunities that most of us live our entire lives dreaming of, and for most will never get the chance to see them materialize!... So why is it that when they come knocking, we fail to answer the door?!

They say lightening doesnt strike the same place twice, and i'm a firm believer in that.  I believe that one should never take things for granted, as regret is a horrible lifelong companion.  I never want to look back and regret anything, but if i had to then i'd rather regret things that i have done and didnt work out than things that i didnt do.  'What if?' are two words that i would never want hanging over my head, not now, not ever!

Love is the most common cause of 'What if?' cases.  It is rare, and most of us live our whole lives without feeling the sting of cupid's arrow.  However, there are those of us lucky enough to be chosen by cupid at least once in their lives, yet they take the other person for granted and before they know it its too late and that other person has moved on. 

Heres one final question that I have as i've noticed this in relationships i've had in the past and in relationships my friends have been in; Do men have higher tolerance for cupids potion that by the time it reaches their heart the effect of that same potion had worn off the heart of the woman they truely desire?

Lovers, I will leave you with this, next time lightneing strikes embrace it and make the most of it as lightening does strike the same place twice... and neither does Cupid's bow and arrow!!!

xo

One-Woman-Men.... an Urban Legend???

When a women meets a man and together embark on a new relationship, unless that man highlights his intentions to see other woman, a psychological contract is formed that he is a OWM or a "One Woman Man"!

Now let me make this clear as in the past, a OWM was believed to refer to a mans marital status and the practice of polygamy.  I am not referring to marital status and hence polygamy (which was a big misconception of the term formed within historical religious communities as it was not accepted by the Roman society nor by the Scripture).  I am referring to a mans sexual purtiy and moral to honor that psychological contract.

In today's Anno Domini era, the term OWM not only concerns married men and men who are in a relationship, but men in general!

This is because the shelf life of an average relationship is getting shorter and shorter... sad, but true!

Point is, my male friends; why is the attention and desire of one woman not enough these days no matter who that woman is?

Are One-Woman-Men simply an Urban Legend???

I really hope that the answer to that question is a 'No', but i'm not so sure anymore!!!

Facebook Fishing Anyone???

Ok ladies, so i'm sure that we ALL get these from time to time, the random message on Facebook from that random someone who's telling us "oh you're so beautiful" and "i just want you to be my wife... uhhh i mean "friend"!!!!".... yeh buddy sure u did!

Gentlemen, if you've ever sent one of these messages, i just wanna ask you.... DO YOU EVER GET A RESPONSE?????... be honest now -_-

Well, i've had it with these guys fishing for girls on Facebook... it started off a couple of years ago with one message every few months.  Now its one message every few hours!!!

So i've picked the best ones, the crème-de-la-crème, to share with you... Enjoy!!!

xo

Yes I can see that from your FB name -_-

No thanks... I'm happy with my old ones

Can someone translate please????

Again, I'm happy with my old ones Johnny!

I really hope he's still not holding his breath!!!

uhhhhh.... no comment lol

Whats with the ____@@@___@@@@__????

Surprised he didnt attach his CV!!!

Who's there?????

uhhh... NO, you didnt!

I think he's sorry?!!! :p

again... can someone translate please??

ok, really??? do guys really expect you to just  respond with "ok, sure, lets go out!!!".... NO!!!

What did you say about my mom???

But it doesnt stop there.....

and it keeps goin....

NO dude.... Rawan is NOT my cousin!!

AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE..............

LOL the guy is talking about having children already????



Nebuchadnezzar II, Shah Jahan, King Edward VIII..... and You & Me!

The Chaldean King, Nebuchadnezzar II, adored his wife so much that he built her a 100 feet (30 m) long by 100 ft wide garden.  Built up in tiers so that it resembled a theatre. Vaults had been constructed under the ascending terraces which carried the entire weight of the planted garden. Nebuchadnezzar II built his Amytis of Media wife the Hanging Gardens of Babylon!



The Hanging Gardens of Babylon

Shah Jahan loved his wife - Mumtaz Mahal - so much, that he refused to let her death (while giving birth to their 14th child) be the end of her existence.  So in her memory, he built her one of the largest tombs today; a tomb that is not a piece of architecture, as other buildings are, but the proud passions of an emperor’s love wrought in living stones.  Shah Jahan built his wife the Taj Mahal!



The Taj Mahal



On 10th December 1936, King Edward VIII (in my opinion) made THE most romantic gesture of history, by signing the Instrument of Abdication and giving up something most of us wont even dare to dream of having just to be with his American never-to-be-approved-as-Queen-by-the-public darling; Wallis Simpson.  King Edward VIII willingly gave up his throne as King of England for Wallis Simpson!

King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson

I dont need you to be my Nebuchadnezzar II and build me Hanging Gardens.  I dont need you to be my Shah Jahan and build me a Taj Mahal... And i would never want you to be a King Edward VIII, as i would never ask you to give up anything for me...

Dear Geek Charming: All I ask for is a simple romantic gesture.  An act of love, care and desire that will make me remember today tens of years from now!

Why is it so hard to find a man these days that is proud to show you (and every now and then the rest of the world) how he really feels about you?

I have girlfriends who wait day and night to hear from "him"... I have other girlfriends who would say no to a life changing opportunity just to be with "him"... so why is it so hard for "him" to do the same for "her"?

Once again... Attention All Males: Romance does not equal weakness so separate your sense of self-worth from how others perceive you.  To a woman, a romantic gesture is proof of your confidence as a man... and call me old fashioned, but theres nothing sexier than a confident man who's not scared of letting you or the rest of the world know that:..... She's mine!